Giganticide

14 December 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:44:00 +0000

Ominous rumbling outside and you check the window and see this across the street, and it's intimidating, but also kind of cool and impressive, and humorous in at least two different ways considering the sign. (Click to enlarge.)

1 December 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:21:00 +0000

Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmas Time, that holiday equivalent of the ceti eel Khan puts into Chekhov's ear in Star Trek II, grows more detestable with each passing season, but I find that my loathing of the song has acquired a warm, nostalgic glow.

30 November 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 15:40:00 +0000

Party in the U.S.A.
A Journey of Discovery
Based on a true story by Miley Cyrus

I disembark at the Los Angeles International Airport with an optimistic agenda and a cardigan sweater. I am greeted by a locale typically associated with celebrity worship and superabundance, and I consider the likelihood of assimilating into such a milieu. Once I've settled into a hired car--this being my first visit to the area--I glance out the driver-side rear window and see what is undoubtedly the district's most recognizable landmark: a lettered sign that tells me, both literally and symbolically, that I have entered an exotic new world. A feeling of senselessness surrounds me. Each citizen, however ordinary, has an air of specialness or renown. My stomach rolls with nausea and I experience a vague longing for my native environment. An excess of mental strain leads to anxiety, but at that precise moment, the driver of the car turns on the stereo and I hear a composition by a popular hip-hop artist...

The driver leaves me at an establishment for evening entertainment. Inside, the patrons assess my appearance as if to say, "Who, pray tell, is this young woman wearing boots of a common, nay rural working class, style? Surely she must be visiting from a vastly different locality." I find that merely being in attendance presents a considerable challenge without the support of my closest female acquaintances. This is decidedly not the variety of social gathering to which I am accustomed in the southeastern city I call home. My attention focuses on the other women's footwear, particularly the long, thin heels that are aptly named after a type of dagger. I think to myself--wryly, I admit--that I must have failed to receive some widespread notification regarding mandatory sameness of shoe. Yet again, I suffer nausea, displacement, and mounting apprehension, until the disc jockey selects a song by a former child star turned teen idol...a song I happen to enjoy a great deal.

I raise my hands overhead, both delighting in the familiar music and, in a way, claiming it as part of my identity. The fluttering sensation in my stomach departs. I nod my head in affirmation and, curiously, rotate my pelvis in concurrence with the aforementioned nod. It occurs to me, in near-epiphanic fashion, that my well-being is now and always has been secure, and that in spite of geographic and socioeconomic differences, this specific gathering is, thanks to the commonalities of music and dance, universal, and, indeed, representative of the country at large.

17 October 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:54:00 +0000

Fine start to the Super Six World Boxing Classic tonight. Arthur Abraham vs. Jermain Taylor was a measured, interesting fight with a spectacular 12th round KO from Abraham. Carl Froch vs. Andre Dirrell was a not-quite electrifying but slightly more exhilarating match-up, largely due to the unpredictability and messiness of the action.

I liked Germany's Abraham going in, and then he warmed me up even more by entering the arena to the music of The Scorpions. Not music over the sound system, mind you, but the actual Scorpions, replete with pyrotechnics and all that wondrous 80s metal Germanness, which was not--you could just tell--intended as retro camp...not even when 'King' Arthur Abraham descended onto the stage wearing some kind of crazy longhair barbarian robe with a high collar. As for the fight itself, Abraham's defense is virtually impenetrable, and his late knockout didn't seem fluky but genuinely devastating. This is a guy who once fought eight rounds with a broken jaw and won. Tough as old German nails, one of the top guys to beat in this tournament, no doubt.

England's Carl Froch is one scrappy, occasionally dirty fighter, and while his sneaky after-the-break hits and back-of-the-head shots would normally turn me against a guy, I found it weirdly satisfying tonight, maybe because--as Froch himself explained after he won--he was trying to fight and Dirrell kept holding and very nearly whining. Still, Froch wasn't outright illegal (not often, anyway...he just seemed like a good tough Brit) and Dirrell showed serious stamina and skill. Split decision went to Froch, which seemed about right.

I did enjoy when Showtime commentator and former light heavyweight champ Antonio Tarver accidentally referred to Carl Froch as "Crotch".

The tournament continues in November with Andre Ward and Mikkel Kessler, the second of whom is real Danish dynamite and has some bad-ass Viking tattoos:

14 October 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:58:00 +0000

I finished Round One of prepping the pumpkin patch for next spring. Most of the major, close-surface shale has been removed, and my drainage tests are good. A farmer told me over the weekend that shale, which he has in abundance in his cornfield, is often more porous than soil, but I needed to remove the upper layers and mound the surface to give the roots a foot or so to grow. I expect my soil test from Cornell in the coming week and will add whatever's lacking. I'll also be mulching most of the leaves from our Norway Maple, which doesn't really turn until November. Below are before/after photos of the patch, along with a few pictures of the shale I removed.

29 September 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:06:00 +0000

Took me an hour to get a flu shot but--I kid you not--three minutes to renew my driver's license at the DMV. I walked in, went straight to the counter, handed over my form, read Line #7 on the eye chart, signed the organ donor agreement, passed my current license and credit card back and forth, exchanged salubrious badinage, received my temporary license, mentioned the hour-long wait for my flu shot in contrast to the exemplary DMV service, said thanks, and left.

_______________

Shale Haiku

Harvesting pumpkins:
Sunset cornucopia,
Undercrop of shale.

28 September 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:56:00 +0000

Spent 5 hours digging massive amounts of shale out of the garden today. Excellent core workout. I estimate another 10-20 hours of shale removal before I'm satisfactorily finished. I'd quit if it weren't killing my drainage. The big challenge at the moment is a giant shale mass with a concrete top, apparently a former clothesline pole support that was buried 6 inches underground. I'm borrowing my Dad's sledgehammer.

Good stuff I found in the process: one nickel.

Later in the day, I took a nap and dreamed that I was digging large plates of shale out of the ground. The dream was surprisingly pleasant.

Let's say the word together for a while, shall we? Shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale Shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale shale.

It's like "shit" and "hell" combined.

27 September 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 23:59:00 +0000

Attended Cooperstown Pumpkinfest 2009 on Saturday and saw what's currently the biggest pumpkin of the year, weighing in at 1,557 lbs.--spectacular in any season, let alone a season with such hideous growing weather. Here it is (click to enlarge):

A number of major weigh-offs are yet to come, including the big one in Topsfield, MA on October 3rd. You can follow the results in coming weeks at this page.

We met some nice people there, including a few from the great Extreme Pumpkin Store, from whom I purchased my copy of Dan Langevin's How-to-Grow World Class Giant Pumpkins The All-Organic Way.

I've been doing a lot of backyard digging of late, sifting hellacious amounts of shale out of the dirt and prepping various garden beds for 2010. Good times. The compost piles are beginning to rot in fine style and I'll be expanding the pumpkin patch to about 350 square feet later this week.

19 September 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 22:55:00 +0000

Marquez v. Mayweather in mere hours...I've been waiting months for this fight. Great time in boxing with tonight's card, a major heavyweight fight next Saturday, Showtime's Super Six tournament kicking off in October, and Pacquiao/Cotto in November.

Go Marquez! Yee-ah!

11 September 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 18:34:00 +0000

The final weight for my pumpkin--Herman--was 157.5 lbs. This was remarkably close to my estimates based on width, length, and circumference, proving that the Weight Table I referenced is pretty accurate.

I beat last year's top weight by nearly 100 lbs., so I'll definitely call 2009 a successful season. That said, the growing weather was abysmal and I didn't have great seeds. I'm planning to obtain some proven seeds from top growers for 2010, and with a lot more experience, a slightly bigger patch, and--one hopes--better weather, I'll have a lot of opportunity for improvement. It's been hugely satisfying working with this plant for five months. Truly amazing to see a single seed grow and fill 300 square feet of dirt, which is less than half of a giant pumpkin plant's full potential, and I'm enjoying the view of Herman out the back window, cut from the stem and ready for a trip to my son's school.

8 September 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 03:46:00 +0000

Fall is Sprung

As noted in my previous post, I've faced the onset of Fall as I always do: by loafing around in August, enjoying a guilt-free laze in preparation for a three-month run of hard work. I've eaten extra junk food, watched more TV, written next to nothing, read little, and abandoned the gym. My son and I have been growing crystals that are supposed to look like kryptonite, as well as roots in a potato that's suspended by toothpicks in a glass of water. My wife and I have organized the house, started planning next year's garden, begun a compost pile, and planned some family outings: The Museum of Natural History in NYC, The Uncle Sam Day Parade in Troy, NY, possibly the local tugboat festival, and of course the big Pumpkinfest in Cooperstown, NY. I'm hoping to get a circular saw for my birthday and learn some basic carpentry...just a work table and bookcase for starters. But the crystals, potato roots, garden, compost, outings, and furniture building are all geared to the near-future, all set for Fall.

Around here, Fall begins on Thursday, when my son starts kindergarten and all my August plans kick into action. As you can see to your immediate right, I've added some bar charts to display my progress throughout the season. They boil down to fiction and fitness. I'm tying to read, write, and get in better shape:

Note: "Fall" in my world is September 10 through December 18 (beginning and end of the kindergarten semester).

Books to Read: 15

I have a tendency in busy work seasons to neglect reading. If I'm writing a lot of my own stuff, it seems justified. Time's limited, and if something has to give, it's better I'm producing fiction than reading it. Fact is, I generally have time for both and use my downtime from writing to slug out with a movie, usually something bad (2nd half of Teen Wolf, e.g.). So I'll try to be good and read instead. Fifteen books is roughly one a week.

Novel Pages Written: 150

I once determined that most published books average around 330 words per page. It's useful knowing this because MS Word's margins and font-size can skew a draft's perceived length, and I often didn't know how long an active project actually was. So the 150-page goal equals 50,000 words, or 50 days at a 1,000 words a day. Knowing my work habits, I ought to be able to pull that off without killing myself. My latest novel's currently around 100 pages, so this'd bring it to the 2/3 mark by Christmas. I could finish it by summer.

Exercise Hours: 50

Fifty 1-hour workouts at the gym. I'll be focusing on weights with a bit of cardio thrown in. I usually lift hard enough to keep my heart-rate high, so elliptical machines and treadmills are more of a secondary option. It's incredible what a feeble boy-man I was a year ago. I've made significant gains in a year of exercise and can only now claim a mid-range level of fitness. So this fall I'd like to build on that success and gain some decent strength. My son, nearly six years old, requires a more powerful Dad. He's convinced I'm already Paul Bunyan and expects me to act that way--my Dad can lift that dresser!--so I need to pick up the slack or I'm going to start injuring myself, like I almost did with a sapling/root ball that a pre-K teacher asked me to carry last spring. Root balls are serious business.

Fruits and Vegetables: 400

That's 400 servings. Like a really big banana might count as 1.5. This equates to 4 servings a day, give or take, which I believe is less than standard dietary recommendations but more than I usually eat. I'm just trying to increase my personal best in fruit/vegetable consumption, for the obvious health benefits and because it's tough getting a kid to eat greens when his father's go-to snack is goldfish crackers.

Lose 10 Lbs.

I'm currently 5'11" and 190 lbs. My body fat percentage is actually pretty low, but I know I've got 10 pounds of fat I can live without. I'm hoping the exercise and fruit/veggie efforts take care of this automatically, but I do plan to reduce late-night snacking, which often qualifies as a full meal.

So if all goes well, I'll be a little more educated, a little stronger and leaner, and a lot farther along on my novel. The goals are modest but solid. Considering all the family time, freelance copywriting, yard work, carpentry antics, holiday disruptions, and unpredictable derailments in store, I'll have to be disciplined to stay on target, and I encourage readers to egg me on whenever you like.

Closing note: I harvested and weighed my pumpkin today...will post details and photos by week's end.

1 September 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 03:36:00 +0000

Giganticide as Brand New Trapper Keeper

I was born in October, and with the crisp air, changing light, brace for cold months, and back-to-school atmosphere--especially now with a son entering kindergarten--the start of fall is a major deal for me.

Fresh notebooks have never lost their power as literal clean slates. Every year in high school, I'd swear to myself I'd keep ahead of homework, study for tests, and take beautifully organized notes. By mid-November or December, my notes would be a mess and I'd have scarred my Trapper Keeper beyond recognition. My locker would barely shut with all the crap and paper bursting out the bottom, and I'd usually spend lunch cramming for tests and wondering where it all went wrong. Report cards were rarely bad but rarely great, and there was typically a sense, in parents, teachers, and myself, that I could have accomplished more if only I'd stayed on target.

Prior to that, in elementary school, we used to be graded on Desk, as in overall neatness of the homeroom desk, one of those melamine and steel numbers with the open-front book compartment under the desktop. Desk counted the same as Math and English and other traditional subjects, and I usually scored an F. I remember a horizontal groove in the desk shelf for easy pen and pencil organization, but even this required too much commitment and my writing implements would vanish in the crush of books and folders. My desk was regularly dumped, right there in front of the class, and I'd be forced to clean it up and start a new disorder the following day.

I had a knack for exploding pens in my pants. The ink would warm against my leg and escape the breathing hole in the pen's plastic shell, blooming on my leg and ruining pair after pair of navy blue Dickies. It drove my mother nuts, and it usually took the green side of a dish scrubber to clean the ink off my thigh.

But every fall, with a new set of notebooks, pens, and Dickies, I'd smell the fresh October air, celebrate my birth, and make my annual resolutions with far more genuine faith and hope than I ever managed to summon on New Year's Day. By January 1, with three months of school behind me, it'd already feel too late to make serious changes in the school year. My grades would stay about the same. My peer position wouldn't shift. I wouldn't impress girls without another full summer's preparation, and even the long Christmas recess wasn't be enough to make it all new. October was the time to rejuvenate, and part of me still hasn't lost that seasonal rush, a blend of optimism and nostalgia that arrives without effort, sure as the red leaves and woodsmoke and frost. This year I can make something of fall. This Christmas, I'll have truly earned a holiday. It doesn't generally go that way, but every year I try anew. And this year, this year, I'm going to make something of fall.

This week we reached the 40s overnight, cold enough to close the bedroom windows and cover the backyard pumpkin with a quilt. The squirrels are getting busy, almost frantic at the birdfeeder. We had a yard sale and cleaned out the house, organized storage. I've had an appetite for apples and an urge to buy a spice-scented candle. I'm drawn to Vermont, if only an afternoon trip to Bennington for fudge. Most of all, I'm unable to find a productive rhythm, falling instead to planning--planning for the fall when kindergarten starts and I'm alone all day, with hours of work at home and a serious need of self-regulation.

It's an exciting time, and as usual I'm optimistic, nostalgic, mentally nesting in the home, and establishing goals and routines that are liable to fall apart once I have to quit planning and actually make them happen. But this year, this year...

In the spirit of sharing and excessive preparation, I intend to post my goals for fall and write updates throughout the season. I'm hoping it'll work as a personal spur, a sense of accountability that comes from making private effort public. The basic idea is NOT to show what a swell productive fellow I am, but to remind myself of what a loaf I often am, of where I'm falling short or lying to myself, of when I need to work and when, ideally, I'm permitted to feel proud of my accomplishments.

More soon...

Brief pumpkin update: Herman seems to have stopped growing at around 150 lbs. Nothing jaw-dropping, but more than double my personal best from last year. I'll keep it on the vine a few more weeks, unless the groundhogs become too great a threat, and post an official weight with photos.

9 August 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:54:00 +0000

Pumpkin update: good growth in recent weeks. I culled the last backup pumpkin so I'm down to one. If that one gets hurt, I'm bust. Based on standard measurements, I'm estimating it's between 70 and 80 lbs now. His name is Herman, after the plant itself. Here's the growth at intervals:

Pollination Day:

Day 5:

Day 14:

Day 21 (two angles):

I constructed a crude shade cover to protect the fruit from hail and, more importantly, August sun that'll cook and harden the shell prematurely, which would slow the pumpkin's growth and increase the likelihood of splits. Those splits are common when a pumpkin's growing faster than its God-given rate; imagine sitting too fast in a tight pair of slacks. I'm also covering the pumpkin with a white sheet for extra sun protection and warmth at night, when the temps continue to drop more sharply than usual. It's been a very cool summer. We've hit ninety only one or two days all season.

The worst of the insect season's over but I've had to deadhead some of the older leaves due to nascent powdery mildew. I've applied fungicide and sprayed organic Green Cure as well, hoping to keep the mildew from spreading around the plant.

Was alarmed to find a groundhog milling around the edge of the patch this afternoon. It promptly ran beneath the deck when I walked outside, at which point I promptly sprinkled cayenne pepper all over the place. I'll have to buy some Shake Away repellent tomorrow. I'm also going to plant pinwheels around the patch; I've heard this actually works.

My parents' neighbors have been battling groundhogs all season. One neighbor tried Have-a-Heart traps and caught a skunk. Problematic since the trap must be opened two-handed. He was forced to call animal control, whose solution was to cover the trap with a blanket before hauling the skunk to a field. The blanket provided only minimal protection.

Other news: I'm Twittering on occasion.

My novel's up to 100 pages, moving along well. I spent a week outlining the rest of the book and ought to hit a good stride in the fall when I'm back to a regular schedule. This is the first time in years I feel almost no pressure to finish a book and finally get published. I got close enough last time to know I'll make it eventually, even if takes another ten years, if only because I like writing novels and am virtually bound to keep improving. In theory! I think of it like exercise. If a skinny guy hits the gym an hour a day for a decade, he may not be Tony Atlas, but he'll probably look good in a unitard. And I'm enjoying myself along the way. A friend of mine once said he thinks writing's simply good for you. I agree with that.

My son's been going to day camp for the last month, but now he's home with me until kindergarten starts in early September. We're planning mucho action. Bird sanctuary, breakfast at the diner near the train track, Grecian combat, llama farm, Lego work, running, r/c monster truck driving on the clay track at the science & hobby shop, mini-golf, summer reading extravaganza, Nerf gun battles. Those Nerf guns really work, by the way--the suction cups still well and everything.

I saw Into the Wild. I loved the book and wound up loving the movie. Messed up kid but in a joyous, relatable way. We were all a bit nuts in our 20s; this poor young man just went a lot farther and ate the wrong plant. Sean Penn (director) does a good job reality-checking the hero, whose idealism is naive but not necessarily wrong. It's a tough balance, finely held throughout. Soundtrack's good, too. And I'm reading the new Richard Russo novel; not a fan of that title but the book's solid Russo so far.

7 August 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:43:00 +0000

Woodpeckered bark found in bag of firewood:

On fire:

6 August 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:29:00 +0000

29 July 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 01:30:00 +0000

Found something in my email archives. A few years ago, I won an Ebay auction for a porcelain figurine. The winning bid was $9.90. I failed to notice that the seller lived in China, and that the shipping expense was $118.00. I emailed the seller, hoping to gracefully bow out without angering the Ebay police. What follows is my ensuing correspondence with the seller.

Seller:

Dear Dennis, good evening, bless you and your family, very happy to assistance you, in there you will get good service, i want to tell you something, we are far away, the shippingcost is fastest way to my buyers, it is EMS 3-7 days, it is really piece, high value, all of my buyer like it, thank you good vision, please touch me, if you like we can offer to you other shippingcost, maybe SAL, it is lower.

Dennis:

Thanks for writing back so soon. I was hoping to withdraw from the auction entirely, with your blessing, since no matter what type of shipping you use I fear it is too expensive for me to afford. I made a mistake by not checking shipping costs when I
bid and didn't realize the item was coming from China. I cannot afford to pay for shipping from China. I am so sorry to be doing this.

Seller:

dear kindest, thank you message, this is my service time for my buyers, thank you appreciate my treasure, i know, you like this one, when you get it, you will love it deeply, the shippingcost for SAL i can offer to you $80, 10-18 days to you, if you like, i will do it for you, if you dont like, dont any paid for me, China to USA is far distance, please to see this.

Dennis:

I will pay you $9.90 for the item. This is the winning bid I placed. This way you receive the winning amount I am obligated to pay. You keep the item and may try to sell it to someone else. What is your PayPal account so I can send you the $9.90?

Seller:

This is high value collection from my family, if you have the time, welcome to China, come to my place, Shanghai, my family is a big collection family, everyday, we can met a lot of USA or UK or canada friend to visit our old father, visit our collection room, welcome. any help in future, please let me know, i hope we can build friendship. my buyers satisfaction is my happiness.

Dennis:

Thank you for your kindness. I do not want the item. I cannot afford it, even with the cheaper shipping. Please accept my apology. I hope you are well. Thank you for understanding.

Seller:

now i am in countryside, it is very hard to use computer, but i feel i am happy, i do it, i reply you, i will come back tomorrow, hope we can chat more, dont forget me, i am Wang [name omitted], a Asia big collector, welcome to China, welcome to my family, hope we can build friendship deeply, please give my best wish to your family, thanks.

Seller Again:

Dear kindest, thank you message, bless you and your family at this deep night, any help in future, tell me, i feel very happy and honour to chat with you, hope we can do friendship deeply, hope we can chat more, about our family, our culture. thanks

9 July 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:44:00 +0000

Weather
Partly sunny, warmer, still unseasonably cool

Current Yard Animals
Inverted squirrel on birdfeeder

Of Note

Click image to enlarge:

Mythology
Hercules' Second Labor: slay the nine-headed hydra, which regenerated two heads for every head that was severed; Hercules' nephew cauterized each neck stump with a firebrand, thus preventing regrowth, until the beast was finally killed

Word
Eremitical: characteristic of a hermit; far removed from ordinary life and considerations

Book
The Death of Ivan Ilyich and Other Stories by Leo Tolstoy

Music
Mozart's Cosi fan tutte

Today's U.S. State Capital Is
Concord, New Hampshire

8 July 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:15:00 +0000

Weather
Partly sunny, 70ish

Current Yard Animals
Frequent sightings of deer across the street, one of which our son named Mrs. Pablo

Of Note
The local college is testing a new warning alert system. The campus is a couple miles off but I can hear the various sirens and blurred computerized voice, and if I close my eyes and listen, it's just like that alien invasion no one expected, except for one lonely scientist that everyone ignored. His vindication, no doubt, is bittersweet.

June was a busy month, at least for a man who stays home most of the time. End of Pre-K; holiday vacation to my in-laws; 30 more pages on my novel; regular exercise; read Goat Song, Milton's L'Allegro/il Penseroso, Macbeth, and The Brothers Karamazov, listened to more Handel oratorios (Athalia, Esther, La Resurrezione), and tended the pumpkin patch.

I culled all plants except, as it happens, the first to emerge from its peat pot back in early May: little Herman, now thirteen feet long and nine feet wide. Here's his growth at intervals:

May 13

May 31

June 28

July 8

Bayer Tree and Shrub (pesticide) seems to be keeping the cucumber beetles and vine borers at bay. The soil was low on nitrogen so I added dried blood. There's a female flower soon to open, which I'll pollinate by hand in the coming week, and another little female right at the tip. So far so good, no hail, killer insects, or mildew.

Mythology
Hercules' First Labor: claim the skin of the savage Nemean Lion, said to be invincible; he strangled it and kept the skin as a cloak

Word
Voluptuary: a person whose life is devoted to the pursuit and enjoyment of luxury and sensual pleasure

Book
The Death of Ivan Ilyich and Other Stories by Leo Tolstoy

Music
Handel's Esther

Today's U.S. State Capital Is
Hartford, Connecticut

1 June 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 13:50:00 +0000

Weather
Sunny, warming up after a weirdly cold night

Current Yard Animals
Sparrow looking ticked that I forgot to buy seed

Of Note
A large part of my life is juggling various goals and projects, most of them self-inflicted, and either enjoying the fruits of the work or goosing myself for falling short. I'm a big fan of to-do lists. This blog, in its way, serves as a personal checkpoint. I feel lazy if the same "Currently Reading" book appears too many posts in a row, like geez, he's still reading that 300-page book? Didn't Stuart O'Nan write the whole first draft in only 10 weeks?

Most of my drive comes from two sources. The deeper one is that I tested well on the Iowas in first grade or whenever it is kids take those tests, then spent the next ten years having teachers say I wasn't meeting my potential. Coupled with my parents' wonderful support and encouragement (you can do anything, etc.), I believed that I was special, slated for big things, ever on the verge of living up to some fabled, Herculean awesomeness. It was often rather stressful, but I finally started trying in late high school and my ambition (taking numerous forms) was and is generally high. I'm probably still underperforming according to the Iowa test board, but ultimately the spur has served me well, and I'd rather feel I'm capable of catching the carrot than feel that the carrot's reserved for better, abler mules.

The other source of my drive is that I'm a stay-at-home Dad with a freelance copywriting job, which means that most of my time is entirely self-governed. If I don't have drive, I'll be a deadbeat by week's end, every week of my life.

Back to those to-do lists. I'm fairly disciplined about accomplishing a week's stated tasks, but I've been trying to tame the scatter I feel when too many things remain outstanding. This week, my obvious but rarely applied tactic is breaking everything into manageable segments, then pursuing one segment at a time. Example: I'd like to finish 25 press releases for my freelance gig and also write 5,000 words of my novel. Most weeks, I'd write some press releases, bounce to the novel for a couple hours, go back to press releases, etc., the result being stress and consternation. This week I'll work on 1,000 words of the novel, doing nothing else until they're finished. Then I'll proceed to 5 press releases. Then back for another 1,000 of the novel. Like I said, it's an obvious approach to better focus, but I'm usually too aware of everything I'm neglecting to keep my energy fixed on one particular job.

Pumpkin update: we had days and days of rain. Great for the plants but they really need sun; they got some over the weekend and it's sunny now (though still too cold for my liking). I've been fertilizing with Neptune's Harvest Fish and Seaweed Emulsion, which most of the serious pumpkin growers swear by. I use the suggested amount once a week. It's murky brown and smells the way you'd expect (see L'il Lisa's Patented Animal Slurry), but the odor's fairly weak and has a pleasant sea aroma once you've watered it into the ground.

Three of the plants are coming along well, especially the first I planted. I'm hoping for vines in the coming week or two. Also fearing the cucumber beetles and vine borers that typically arrive in June.

Mythological Character
Sinis the Pine Bender: strong man who killed travelers by asking them to help him bend trees to the ground, at which point he'd tie them to the branches, release the trees, and tear the victims in half. He suffered the same fate at the hands of Theseus, who knew his trick in advance.

Word
Aglet: the plastic or metal tube at the tip of a shoelace (this week's words may be found in The Whatchamacallit)

Book
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon by Gideon Defoe

Music
CPE Bach: Symphonies & Cello Concertos

Today's U.S. State Capital Is
Dover, Delaware

19 May 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Tue, 19 May 2009 18:10:00 +0000

Weather
Sunny, warm at last

Current Yard Animals
Goldfinches; saw what may have been a northern shrike in the cemetery yesterday

Of Note
One of the pumpkin plants died. It was Cleo, who'd been coming along nicely over the past week. All was fine this morning, and then at 11a.m. I noticed the leaves were wrecked. It looked as if something had hit it or chewed it; either way, a worrisome early loss.

It's possible--though not likely--that the cold got it. We've had two near-freezing nights, unusual this late in May. I covered the plants with overturned plastic bins and left a milk bottle full of hot water inside. The bottles gave off heat and kept the temperature in the bins about 5 degrees warmer overnight. Seemed to have worked fine, with the exception of the mystery death this morning.

I planted a replacement plant along with three others I've been keeping indoors, bringing the current outdoor total to five. I'll pick the best two in the coming month and uproot the rest. The forecast's calling for increasing sun and warmth over the next few days, which is just what everybody needs.

In other news, I've switched workouts to a strength-building routine, which is 40 heavy sets three days a week. First day was yesterday. Today I'm craving food in a way that only happens when your body really needs it. I'd like to be able to bench press my own weight someday, which would really be an achievement considering what an overweight weakling I was this time last year.

Speaking of workouts, Juan Manuel Marquez, one of my favorite boxers, is training for his fight against Floyd Mayweather, Jr. by lifting boulders on a Mexican volcano.

My new novel's coming along well. I've got about 30 pages, adding roughly ten a week. I like to think of each page as a Mexican volcano boulder.

Mythological Character
Theseus: slayer of the Minotaur; he was fathered by Aegeus and Poseidon after his mother, Aethra, slept with both in a single night

Word
Berm: in Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and West Virginia, the bank of a canal or the shoulder of a road; in Alaska, it's a mound of snow or dirt that's formed when clearing land

Book
Snow Angels by Stuart O'Nan

Music
Handel's Giulio Cesare

Today's U.S. State Capital Is
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

13 May 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:50:00 +0000

Weather
Sunny, warming up

Current Yard Animals
House finch, squirrel; saw another bluebird in the cemetery yesterday

Of Note
I planted the first two pumpkin plants outside this morning. Last night dipped to the low 40s but the forecast looks relatively warm for the next ten days; it seemed a good time to plant. I'm only going with two this year, which'll give them plenty of room to grow and feed. Of the remaining six, I'm keeping two in pots as backups in case some calamity kills the pair outside. The other four will be divided between a friend and my father. My Dad intends to plant them and do minimal maintenance, which will turn them into a kind of control group: does all my extra effort have significant effect? Comical answers may ensue.

Here's how I planted the two outside. I filled a couple of holes in the bed with fresh humus/manure--40 lbs. each. I buried the plants there, still in their peat pots, though I did cut the bottom of the pots out to let the roots go wild. I watered each plant with 30-10-10 (nitrogen-rich) fertilizer. Nitrogen promotes leaf, root, and vine growth.

There's plenty of sun today. I'm eager to see these guys take off in the coming week. The plants look incredibly tiny outside. I immediately started worrying. I installed a temporary fence--green plastic mesh with stakes--around the bed to protect them from errant balls and the like. In coming weeks, I'll be looking for vine borer eggs around the base of each plant, hoping to hand-remove them before they hatch and burrow in. Pesticide doesn't generally work on vine borers until they've already hatched, and once they're in the stem you've got to cut them out with a knife, assuming you even know they're in there. There's also the matter of squash beetles, but sprays will work on them.

I found a 100% natural spray for powdery mildew, which can murder the leaves when things turn humid mid-summer. It's called GreenCure and I've read some promising reviews.

Now it's just a waiting game, letting the plants creep around and looking ahead to pollination in July.

Herman:

Cleo:

Mythological Character
Echidna: monster, half-woman and half-serpent. She had lots of offspring with Typhon the Terrible, including Ladon, the Hydra, the Chimera, and Cerberus. She was also the proud mom of the Sphinx and the Nemean lion.

Word
Syzygy: an alignment of three celestial bodies, such as the sun, the earth, and either the moon or a planet

Book
The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

Music
Lorraine Hunt Lieberson at Ravinia

Today's U.S. State Capital Is
Lincoln, Nebraska

11 May 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Mon, 11 May 2009 13:02:00 +0000

Weather
Sunny, chilly

Current Yard Animals
Goldfinch

Of Note
I finished reading Backyard Giants, a thoroughly great and suspenseful chronicle of the 2006 race to grow the world's largest pumpkin. I've long been fond of any person or community devoted to one obscure--or at least highly specific--pursuit of excellence. It's amazing how many core similarities emerge between, for instance, giant pumpkin growing and professional boxing, or pro boxing and novel writing, or novel writing and [insert mad pursuit of choice].

These passions are always hobbies to some and ways of life to a select few. They have the potential to be all-consuming, financially irresponsible, probably doomed to failure, and patience-testing to loved ones. But they're all weirdly spiritual to the genuine devotees. Pumpkin growers have their own organizations and camaraderie, their own jokes and jargon, their own secret knowledge, and their own specific fears and inspirations.

It seems like any pure pursuit could be viewed as insane, or at least as a type of OCD, to casual bystanders. Some pursuits are better sanctioned than others, but there's no fundamental difference between a man spending 40+ hours a week growing pumpkins and a man spending 40+ hours a week hitting balls with a stick. The "40+" is inaccurate for both. Growers and ballplayers both have sleepless nights and daylong preoccupations with their work. And the more specific and intense the pursuit, the more the varying pursuits resemble one another. They all boil down to love of the work, discipline, obsessiveness, and maybe most importantly, the will to recover after many, many devastating failures.

Pumpkin growing falls into the hobby category for me, but I can see myself one day retiring to an acre-wide patch and giving 100%. Novel writing falls into the compulsive, repeated failure category for me, but I crossed a important threshold a few years ago. I'd spent a few years writing a book under challenging circumstances; My wife and I became parents, switched jobs, moved to a number of different towns, and bought our first house. I struggled with lots of turning-30 tailspins over death and God and meaning-of-life type stuff. I finished the book and caught the interest of some A-grade agents, but it ultimately didn't work out. I knew I had to write another book right away or risk a permanent loss of confidence. So I did, and I got an agent for that one, and long-story-short I couldn't get the novel to work and (long-story-omitted) amicably parted ways with the agent and found myself back at square one.

Which is where I am now, two chapters into a new novel, with a different agent eager to read it once it's finished. I'm facing a year of hard work and, at age 34, have nothing to show for my previous efforts, even as various peers are publishing their first or even second novels with alarming frequency. But that earlier crisis of confidence never repeated itself, and I see myself in the pumpkin growers' shoes. Spend a whole year prepping the patch and doing everything right to nurture the plant, and then in September, right when the pumpkin looks ready to win, the forklift picks it up and the bottom falls out. It's been rotting for weeks, and all you can do it grow is another one next year. And you do, because you're one of those crazy people who find joy in the work, and you crossed some threshold too long ago to quit.

I put my previous novel aside last week, maybe forever, and feel surprisingly OK about it. I had a day of low spirits but nothing approaching despair. I'll make it eventually, assuming I don't die young, and I'm satisfied with my life...my daily writing, my pumpkin hobby, my birdwatching and Baroque classical fandom and, most of all, my family. This blog's an effort to remind myself of how enjoyable the daily routine can be and generally is. I do copywriting and work on novels, I read and listen to music, I exercise at the Y, and I hang with my wife and son in the afternoons and evenings. I still struggle with the sense of being a nobody, because I've always had ambition and here I am, unpublished at 34, but it's getting a lot easier to deepsix that baloney and feel content.

In closing, here's a picture of my eight young hopefuls for 2009:

Mythological Character
Chiron: a wise and beneficent centaur, teacher of Achilles, Asclepius, and others

Word
Serendipity: the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident

Book
The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

Music
Handel's Orlando

Today's U.S. State Capital Is
Little Rock, Arkansas

8 May 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Sat, 09 May 2009 00:14:00 +0000

Weather
Humid, fresh, thunderstorms off north

Yard Animals
Earlier today: goldfinches, blue jay, pair of cardinals, downy woodpeckers

Of Note
The wren mentioned in previous posts didn't return to the nest it started in the birdhouse. You know what that means: free nest. Last weekend I spotted a bluebird, a northern flicker, and a killdeer. The killdeer sometimes pretends it has a broken wing to lure predators away from its eggs.

Also: there's a goldfinch that comes to the feeder out my office window. Lately he's taken to clinging to and pecking at the window screen. Or cat's eyes bug out and his fur does that ripply-twitchy thing for minutes on end. Fun for everybody.

Two of the eight pumpkin seeds have sprouted, and all of them have roots creeping out the bottom of the peat pots. I'm expecting a few more sprouts over the weekend. I'll probably plant the best four outside next week. I'll give the others away.

Photo from May 7:

Book
Backyard Giants by Susan Warren

Music
Handel's Ariodante

1 May 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Fri, 01 May 2009 13:48:00 +0000

Weather
Mostly cloudy, warmer, good chance of rain

Current Yard Animals
Male & female cardinals, goldfinch, sparrows, house finch

Of Note
About that wren I mentioned yesterday, apparently the male builds a few starter nests in different locations, then gives the female a tour. If she likes one, he's the guy, the chosen nest will be finished, and she'll settle down and lay her eggs. If not, she finds a better provider.

I left a plate of mealworms under the birdhouse to make the male wren look good. I'm his wingman.

Last night I filed the edges of the eight pumpkin seeds I've chosen to grow. They're Dill's Atlantic Giants arrived with what appeared to be a coating a fertilizer. Or magical dust!

The edges are filed to allow quicker penetration of moisture, and also to help the leaves more easily exit the shell. You don't file the point; that's where the all-important embryo is. After filing, I soaked the seeds in water for two hours and planted them, point down, in peat pots filled with Miracle Grow seed-starter potting soil. Gave them water, took them upstairs to a sunny window, and here they sit:

Now I wait for germination. In a week or two, once the plants are up and growing, I'll transport the pots to the yard. In the meantime, I added some 5-15-5 fertilizer to the bed. (The 5-15-5 is the ratio of Nitrogen, Phosphorous, and Potassium.)

Word
Insouciant: marked by blithe unconcern

Book
Backyard Giants by Susan Warren

Music
Handel's Ariodante

Today's U.S. State Capital Is
Frankfort, Kentucky

30 Apr 09

noreply@blogger.com (Giganticide) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 13:29:00 +0000

Weather
Sunny, cool, red-flag dry

Current Yard Animals
Chipmunk that's burrowed into an old dirt pile in the back corner of our yard

Of Note
A house wren began nesting in our new birdhouse last night. I'd gotten the house for bluebirds but I'm happy with a wren.

Pumpkin-growing season is about to begin. I've added plenty more humus/manure to the bed, as well as a special ingredient: llama manure. My aunt raises llamas on her farm and offered me a trunkload of manure, called llama beans, which I enthusiastically accepted. Llama beans are jellybean-sized and loaded with nutrients. They can be added directly to the soil without composting (most manure that isn't already composted will burn a plant's roots) and the nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium content is unbeatable, at least in terms of manure. They look like this:

I'll be planting the pumpkin seeds indoors this afternoon. I'll report in coming days.

Person
Daphne: beautiful nymph chased by Apollo, who'd been hit by one of Cupid's arrows. Daphne, hit by a different arrow that made her flee, prayed for help and was transformed into a laurel tree. Laurel became sacred to Apollo.

Word
Bailiwick: a person's special area of interest, skill, or authority

Book
Backyard Giants by Susan Warren

Music
Handel's Tamerlano

Today's U.S. State Capital Is
Denver, Colorado